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The Social Centre - by ChrisB

NEW SITE!

The Social Centre is dead... well actually it's just sleeping. Forever.

But, stop wailing hysterically and head to www.litteration.wordpress.com for all my bloggy goodness.

Many of the bestest articles will be migrated to the new site - but all the cruddy ones will stay here.

See you on the other side!

- Chris
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Pollies? What a crack-up


Politicians should never be left to squabble alone. Tonight, our two leaders finally managed to get themselves into the same room to bicker about who’s got a bigger stimulus package and whose broadband network proposal is the patchiest. But this only came after they first bickered over how they would do a debate, where they’d do it, what to wear and so on. Finally, they settled on an RSL in Brisbane to have a tame ‘forum’. There wasn’t even any fervour in the dozen-strong geriatric audience… just the smell of brill cream and false teeth grinding in boredom.

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World Cup Guide

Group A (South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France)
The host nation will face stiff competition with some World Cup heavyweights in France and Uruguay, while Mexico looms as a shadowy threat.

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It's a Conspiracy!

Reptilian
Artist's rendering of a reptilian based on witness accounts


Lizard people rule the earth
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What your font says about you

Communication in the modern age has meant the art of handwriting has eroded to become the sole domain of doctor certificates and birthday cards. Virtually everything you read today was born and raised in the humble, computerised word processor. Be it a letter to the editor, a memo at work or a cryptic message from a serial killer – often it is the font selected by said grumpy citizen, boss or deranged lunatic that tells more than the words to which they give shape.


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How to be an indie band



Sarangi
Not music without one of these...
Step 1
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Not So Glorious Sport

Double Luge
Looks....comfy
Double luge
So, donning a full body condom and hurtling down an icy death tunnel on a glorified tea-tray is mad enough, but doing it with another person lying on top of you is simply insane. The luge event became a centre of attention recently after the luge practice tragedy at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. So with all eyes on the mountain, those unaccustomed to the sport (as in nearly everyone) looked on in disbelief when the lugers started stacking themselves on the sled. No other sport can hope to be as precarious and hilarious at the same time.

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Obama: The edible President

Obamamania may have subsided somewhat, now that the 44th President is over a year into his historic term of office. But at ithe height of the hysteria, President Obama was absolutely everywhere. His broad-smiling face was a ubiquitous presence: newspapers, television channels, websites, posters, banners…everywhere. His popularity spurred an interested phenomenon, saved for only the most beloved of historic figures. He became edible.

Obama was being served up for us to consume in more ways than you can imagine. Take a look


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What are you really saying?

Cut!
Cut to the chase
Today’s definition: “Get to the point.”
In the early days of cinema, plots would deviate between romantic entanglements, bad guys with wiry moustaches tying women to train tracks and a chase scene. It was a generally routine formula for early Hollywood directors to include the obligatory chase scene as a way of inducing some level of excitement in the film. Before long a well-known maxim became popular amongst these directors, who would say: ‘when in doubt, cut to the chase


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Fashion Failure

Shoes Jeans and Beach
No.
Shoes and socks and/or jeans at the beach
Surely, when God sprinkled sand over the shorelines, bathed it in warmth and sent waves pounding against it – he intended use with minimal clothing. However there are some people who openly defy God’s will by wearing shoes and socks, often accompanied with jeans, to the beach. What possible reason could they have to do such a thing? Do they enjoy the savage beating they must give to their shoes afterwards to rid the sand? Do they love feeling sand creep up their fingernails every time they reach into their pockets for weeks afterwards? It certainly can’t be for fashion, because they stick out more than nude bathers – and appear far less comfortable. And it can’t be for safety, because wading out in that clobber would drag you to the bottom like a lead anchor. My only guess is because they were whisked there by holiday-loving kidnappers with no time to change… but please… at least take your shoes off.

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59 Posts dating from October 2006
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