101 things people should be shot for
1. Wearing hats on a funny angle.
2. Walking slowly on the footpath.
3.Trying to talk while yawning.
4. Quoting the Simpsons every five seconds.
5. Talking with an American accent despite never spending a second there.
6. Calling people of the same age ‘kids’
7. Putting frangipani stickers on cars
8. Riding motorcycles down the middle of backed up traffic lanes.
9. Constantly complaining about wanting a new mobile phone, despite getting a new one every three months.
10. Being part of a gaggle of mall-roaming schoolkids
11. Listening to every ringtone on your phone on public transport.
12. Wearing different coloured thongs in some sort of dumb fashion statement.
13. Having personalised number plates reading crap like “S1KBR0” or “PLE32A”.
14. Not knowing how to use blinkers.
15. Idolising Paris Hilton.
16. Leaving dirty spoons on the bench.
17. Riding a bicycle in the middle of the road.
18. Talking on the phone while driving.
19. Getting “their” and “they’re”, or “you’re” and “your” mixed up.
20. Bragging about liking a certain band before they became popular.
21. Being under the age of 18 with a piercing. (not including girls earrings)
22. Driving a 4WD anywhere but off-road.
23. Being a parking ranger and giving me a ticket.
24. Being obsessed with ‘Dancing with the Stars’ or ‘Australian Idol’ or ‘Big Brother’.
25. Using the word “like” in every sentence.
26. Naming children with ‘character-building’ names like ‘Trinity’, or “Freedom”
27. Talking during a movie.
28. Installing those ultra-bright/bluey headlights on a car.
29. Being the little spoon all the time and never the big spoon.
30. Going right to the very end of a terminating lane and trying to push in,
31. Taking forever to get in the car and get going while at a petrol station with cars lined up waiting behind.
32. Using vegetarianism as a sort of moral platform with which to judge others.
33. Driving the speed limit (c’mon! its too slow!)
34. Having those annoying message tones they sell on TV.
35. Dancing “the worm” and seriously thinking it’s cool.
36. Listening to gangster rap.
37. Dressing up to go shopping.
38. Qualifying offensive statements with: “No offence, but….”
39. Driving slowly in the right-hand lane.
40. Chewing with your mouth open.
41. Making cashiers count $23 worth of shrapnel, forcing a dozen customers to wait.
42. Thinking Pink truly knows anything about politics.
43. Reading over others’ shoulders.
44. Participating in chain emails.
45. Hotting up a hatchback, and thinking it’s a racecar…it’s a f**king hatchback!
46. Naming children after American states.
47. Stealing parking spaces.
48. Using a circle to dot i’s
49. Complaining about offensive TV shows…JUST TURN IT OFF!
50. Staring a sentence with “Oh my God”.
51. Being a passenger and changing the radio station or song without asking.
52. Actors on TV never saying goodbye before hanging up the phone…are there no manners in TV-land!?
53. Hanging in a turning lane with a green arrow, but intending to go straight, making other drivers wanting to turn wait until all lights turn green.
54. Snorting while laughing.
55. Getting lyrics wrong when singing along to a song.
56. Labelling others ‘conformists’ while being a part of a highly conformist subculture. Emos I’m looking at you.
57. Having a nose ring.
58. Asking questions in a lecture…SAVE IT FOR CONSULTATION!
59. Living in the Sutherland Shire and thinking you invented wearing jeans with thongs.
60. Spitting on the ground.
61. Calling someone ‘babe’.
62. Giving children normal names with intentionally bad spelling eg. “Anjeleina”
63. Owning a ‘handbag dog’ and pampering it.
64. Bringing kids to a restaurant.
65. Having a Southern Cross tattoo and thinking it’s original.
66. Not holding a door open for others.
67. Hanging a toilet paper roll back to front.
68. Putting milk back in the fridge with about 2mililitres left in it.
69. Eating sushi in an attempt to be cosmopolitan.
70. Caring about the lives of celebrities.
71. Being a DJ and playing a sped up 80’s pop song with a beat.
72. Mowing the lawn at 7am.
73. Wearing sunglasses indoors.
74. Scraping cutlery together or on the plate when eating.
75. Consulting the dictionary every round of scrabble.
76. Attempting to parallel park when you have no hope of getting in.
77. Jumping the queue to the bar.
78. Taking seats from tables without asking.
79. Looking at the person next to you in the urinal.
80. Diving in soccer.
81. Shaving lines or lightning bolts on the side of your head.
82. Taking backyard cricket too seriously.
83. Being happy and chirpy before 10am.
84. Using “thus” and “ergo” in everyday conversation.
85. Saying “darnce” instead of “dance”, or “plarnt” instead of “plant”.
86. Clapping at the end of a movie.
87. Photographing yourself pretending to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
88. Wearing jeans at the beach.
89. Having a mullet and being proud of it.
90. Allowing your 300kg Rottweiler to climb all over someone, saying, “they can smell fear.”
91. Being over 15 and a fan of pro wrestling.
92. Dressing up pets thinking it’s cute...its not cute, it’s animal cruelty.
93. Walking around with an orange fake tan, and thinking you look good.
94. Complaining about having to vote, then later complaining about the government.
95. Leaving a shopping trolley in the middle of a parking space.
96. Thinking that a little bit of rain requires high-beam headlights.
97. Calling everything by its brand name.
98. Double-dipping.
99. Wearing ugg-boots and a short skirt…kinda defeats the purpose.
100. Blasting 100 litres through the hose in order to remove a few leaves from the driveway.
101. Wasting peoples time with a list of pet peeves.
2. Walking slowly on the footpath.
3.Trying to talk while yawning.
4. Quoting the Simpsons every five seconds.
5. Talking with an American accent despite never spending a second there.
6. Calling people of the same age ‘kids’
7. Putting frangipani stickers on cars
Say not to frangipani stickers
8. Riding motorcycles down the middle of backed up traffic lanes.
9. Constantly complaining about wanting a new mobile phone, despite getting a new one every three months.
10. Being part of a gaggle of mall-roaming schoolkids
11. Listening to every ringtone on your phone on public transport.
12. Wearing different coloured thongs in some sort of dumb fashion statement.
13. Having personalised number plates reading crap like “S1KBR0” or “PLE32A”.
14. Not knowing how to use blinkers.
15. Idolising Paris Hilton.
16. Leaving dirty spoons on the bench.
17. Riding a bicycle in the middle of the road.
18. Talking on the phone while driving.
19. Getting “their” and “they’re”, or “you’re” and “your” mixed up.
20. Bragging about liking a certain band before they became popular.
21. Being under the age of 18 with a piercing. (not including girls earrings)
23. Being a parking ranger and giving me a ticket.
Damn you to hell
24. Being obsessed with ‘Dancing with the Stars’ or ‘Australian Idol’ or ‘Big Brother’.
25. Using the word “like” in every sentence.
26. Naming children with ‘character-building’ names like ‘Trinity’, or “Freedom”
27. Talking during a movie.
28. Installing those ultra-bright/bluey headlights on a car.
29. Being the little spoon all the time and never the big spoon.
30. Going right to the very end of a terminating lane and trying to push in,
31. Taking forever to get in the car and get going while at a petrol station with cars lined up waiting behind.
32. Using vegetarianism as a sort of moral platform with which to judge others.
33. Driving the speed limit (c’mon! its too slow!)
34. Having those annoying message tones they sell on TV.
35. Dancing “the worm” and seriously thinking it’s cool.
36. Listening to gangster rap.
37. Dressing up to go shopping.
38. Qualifying offensive statements with: “No offence, but….”
39. Driving slowly in the right-hand lane.
40. Chewing with your mouth open.
41. Making cashiers count $23 worth of shrapnel, forcing a dozen customers to wait.
42. Thinking Pink truly knows anything about politics.
43. Reading over others’ shoulders.
44. Participating in chain emails.
45. Hotting up a hatchback, and thinking it’s a racecar…it’s a f**king hatchback!
46. Naming children after American states.
Child or state?
47. Stealing parking spaces.
48. Using a circle to dot i’s
49. Complaining about offensive TV shows…JUST TURN IT OFF!
50. Staring a sentence with “Oh my God”.
51. Being a passenger and changing the radio station or song without asking.
52. Actors on TV never saying goodbye before hanging up the phone…are there no manners in TV-land!?
53. Hanging in a turning lane with a green arrow, but intending to go straight, making other drivers wanting to turn wait until all lights turn green.
54. Snorting while laughing.
55. Getting lyrics wrong when singing along to a song.
56. Labelling others ‘conformists’ while being a part of a highly conformist subculture. Emos I’m looking at you.
57. Having a nose ring.
58. Asking questions in a lecture…SAVE IT FOR CONSULTATION!
59. Living in the Sutherland Shire and thinking you invented wearing jeans with thongs.
60. Spitting on the ground.
61. Calling someone ‘babe’.
62. Giving children normal names with intentionally bad spelling eg. “Anjeleina”
63. Owning a ‘handbag dog’ and pampering it.
64. Bringing kids to a restaurant.
They don't belong in civil society.
65. Having a Southern Cross tattoo and thinking it’s original.
66. Not holding a door open for others.
67. Hanging a toilet paper roll back to front.
68. Putting milk back in the fridge with about 2mililitres left in it.
69. Eating sushi in an attempt to be cosmopolitan.
70. Caring about the lives of celebrities.
71. Being a DJ and playing a sped up 80’s pop song with a beat.
72. Mowing the lawn at 7am.
73. Wearing sunglasses indoors.
74. Scraping cutlery together or on the plate when eating.
75. Consulting the dictionary every round of scrabble.
76. Attempting to parallel park when you have no hope of getting in.
77. Jumping the queue to the bar.
78. Taking seats from tables without asking.
79. Looking at the person next to you in the urinal.
80. Diving in soccer.
Get up you whinger
81. Shaving lines or lightning bolts on the side of your head.
82. Taking backyard cricket too seriously.
83. Being happy and chirpy before 10am.
84. Using “thus” and “ergo” in everyday conversation.
85. Saying “darnce” instead of “dance”, or “plarnt” instead of “plant”.
86. Clapping at the end of a movie.
87. Photographing yourself pretending to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
88. Wearing jeans at the beach.
89. Having a mullet and being proud of it.
90. Allowing your 300kg Rottweiler to climb all over someone, saying, “they can smell fear.”
91. Being over 15 and a fan of pro wrestling.
92. Dressing up pets thinking it’s cute...its not cute, it’s animal cruelty.
Call the RSPCA
93. Walking around with an orange fake tan, and thinking you look good.
94. Complaining about having to vote, then later complaining about the government.
95. Leaving a shopping trolley in the middle of a parking space.
96. Thinking that a little bit of rain requires high-beam headlights.
97. Calling everything by its brand name.
98. Double-dipping.
99. Wearing ugg-boots and a short skirt…kinda defeats the purpose.
100. Blasting 100 litres through the hose in order to remove a few leaves from the driveway.
101. Wasting peoples time with a list of pet peeves.
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