4WD Drivers
Manliness comes standard
If there is one scum that the world can do without, it’s the Hummer. A hit in the USA, they are planning to bring the king of big, ugly useless vehicles to Australia. I for one am not looking forward to it, because I absolutely hate 4wds. The Hummer is the ultimate 4wd that is never meant to venture off the road, and I know that rednecks and bogans are bursting at the seams in excited anticipation of the release of this thing in Australia.
Recently, whilst driving along merrily in my humble Mitsubishi Magna I was almost sent careering into a telegraph pole as not one, but two 4wd’s belted past me. Commandeering one of the boganmobiles was a man (Bazza), with Australian flag violently flapping on the tip of his extra-long aerial, and the other was a woman (Shazza) with her bogan offspring crammed in the back.
Look at me, I'm trying to drive up a rock!
I was incredibly pissed off.
I was pissed because I knew that in the simple heads of Baz and Shaz, they thought that they were king and queen of the road. They enjoyed the ‘bigger is better’ mentality that thrives within bogan/redneck habitats. Baz was clearly desperate to display his vast masculinity to all by driving in a huge vehicle. Shaz was happy sitting as high above the rest of the traffic as possible, living up to her bumper sticker of ‘bitch with attitude’.
If only they can lose this mentality, and realise that on a busy, city road, 4wds are hated by all. Nobody is impressed by the size of your bulbar, nobody is awed by your Yosemite Sam spare tyre cover, and just because you are seated higher, nobody is going to think higher of you.
Awesomeness comes standard
I pray that when the Hummer finally does arrive here, that the movie-star image it carries is washed away by the realisation that everybody else will think you’re a tryhard dickhead who is compensating for something, and that the money spent on that giant shoebox could have been spent on a real car – like a Porsche Boxter, Holden Monaro, or a BMW M5.
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Celebrity Obsession