The Do's and Dont's of Elite Sport
DO: sign a multi-million dollar endorsement deal
Work’ as understood by Tiger Woods involves several rounds of golf, lesser beings would call this a ‘weekend’, but Tiger earns an absolute killing doing what many love. Okay, it’s not all leisurely rounds at the country club, Tiger spends countless hours perfecting his technique and nutting out the finer aspects of his game, but considering that Nike fill his pockets with more millions than you can poke a four-iron at, endorsements are a sports star’s dream.
DON'T: Let your dad manage you
In 1999, we all thought we had discovered the girl who was going to spark another golden era of women’s tennis for Australia. Jelana Dokic, the Serbian girl who moved to Australia with her father was a promising talent on the women’s pro circuit. However, her aspirations for stardom were restricted by her bearded manager and mental dad, Damir. Her father’s raving antics quickly became too much for even Lleyton Hewitt fans to swallow. In 1999, he was ejected from a tournament in England for calling the officials “Nazis,” he responded by jumping up and down on a car on the street before lying down motionless on the road until police arrived. At the 2000 Australian Open, Damir attacked a cameraman, and later offered $5,000 for the tape so as to destroy the evidence. Later that year, at the US Open, he was thrown out after his fury erupted over the price of salmon from a vendor. He then proceeded to take Jelana back to Serbia, until she decided to ditch her lunatic father in 2006 and relocated back in Australia. Damir blamed his daughter’s move on a conspiracy involving Australia, Croatia and the Vatican and he threatened his revenge by dropping an atomic bomb on Sydney. He still maintains Australia is the loony one, “I'm not crazy…they are the crazy ones who give you hot sausages before the match when it's 40 degrees celsius outside." Admittedly, he does have a point.
DO: Display outrageous feats of courage
They thought he was dead as they dug their way through the smouldering ruins of the Ferrari. That terrifying impact, that horrific ball of flames – many have died from lesser shunts thought onlookers of the 1976 German Grand Prix, there was no way Niki Lauda could have survived that. But, as marshals and fellow drivers delved through the wreckage, they miraculously found the Austrian racing legend, alive, but just barely. He was rushed to hospital, where grim-faced doctors observed the comatose Lauda, and gave the nod to have his last rites read to him. But, in what fellow racing luminary, Jackie Stewart described as the ”most courageous thing ever witnessed in sport”, Niki recovered from his burns and contaminated lungs to return to racing, a mere 30 days later. Still bandaged, and in pain, Lauda astounded the F1 world by returning from the dead to race again, and win. Later, he admitted the nerves of his comeback, “At Monza I was rigid with fear. Terrified,” but you can only claim to be courageous if you’re actually scared.
DON’T: Start a fight with your own teammate
Violence in sport is inevitable. Tempers boil over, words are exchanged and fists meets faces. This of course, is not encouraged, and coaches are at pains to dissuade their players to risk fines and bans for getting involved in a blue with their opponents. However, it goes without saying that fighting someone in your own team is forbidden, but somebody probably should have told British soccer stars, Lee Bowyer and Craig Bellamy. Bowyer’s notorious mug was splashed all over the tabloids after he inexplicably punched Newcastle teammate, Keiron Dyer whilst losing 3-0 to Aston Villa in 2005. Bowyer had previously been charged with assault for pub brawls, but his attack on Dyer came without warning. He was fined, banned and eventually fired from Newcastle. But his efforts pale in comparison to the work of Welsh badboy, Craig Bellamy. During his time at Newcastle in 2004, the captain of Wales reportedly lost his temper in the dressing room and threw a chair at the club’s assistant manager. He was soon turfed out of the club, but he still threatened former teammate, Alan Shearer via text message. Bellamy’s latest eruption happened only months ago, after hitting fellow Liverpool player John Arne Riise in the legs with a golf club. The reason? An argument about a karaoke competition.
DO: Possess a sharp wit
In boxing it is immeasurably important to stay light on your feet. Muhammed Ali proved that by winning a gold medal in the 1960 Olympics, and then repeatedly in professional bouts through the 1970’s. But Ali’s lightning footwork was matched with an equally quick wit, from which he showcased a poetic flair. During his career, Ali found it hard to stray from the limelight. The media simply fell in love with his sharply delivered verbal jabs, and the clever taunts that staggered his opponents long before the bell rang. Ali was a walking soundbite; whether he was dealing out philosophic musings, (“It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe”) or dishing out insults, (“Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head”), reporters lapped him up. Ali though was just doing it his way, as he said: “It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”
DON’T: Bite you opponent’s ear off
While Ali would assault the ears of his opponents with a witty, sharply delivered rap, Mike Tyson decided to attack his rival’s ear with a little more ferocity. The now infamous Tyson – Holyfield fight of 1997 was the beginning of the end for the once mighty “Iron Mike.” Disgruntled at Holyfield’s repeated illegal headbutts, Tyson decided to retaliate in the 3rd round, by having a nibble on Evander Holyfield’s right ear. What, exactly, he hoped to gain by tearing off Holyfield’s earlobe remains a mystery, but the incident tipped his professional career into a landslide, where further blunders (such as threatening to eat Lennox Lewis’s children, repeated drugs charges and filing for bankruptcy) relegated the former heavyweight champ into the annals of sporting ‘don’ts”.
DO: Step up when needed
Elite athletes are under intense scrutiny from their managers, coaches and most saliently, the media. Poor performances will lead to questions and could mean the end of an athlete’s time at the top level. A lot of pressure is especially placed upon captains, and Australian cricket hero, Steve Waugh certainly felt that pressure in 2003. After a run of poor form, Waugh came into the final match of the 2003 Ashes series in Sydney with the press questioning his captaincy. With his career riding on his performance, Waugh, and the rest of Australia knew that he had to step up and deliver a performance that would justify his place in the national team. And deliver he did. ‘Tugger’ led the Aussies to victory against England with a true captain’s knock. With only 1 ball left of play, and 3 runs needed for a century, Waugh caressed a textbook cover drive through the gap and into the fence, saving his test career and reserving a spot in cricketing history with one of the classiest knocks ever.
DON’T: Misunderstand what “White line fever” really means
With one fell sniff; the footballing legend that was Diego Maradona came crashing down. His failure of a routine drug test in 1991 for cocaine saw his stature plummet from meteoric highs. After leading Argentina to the 1984 World Cup he was considered a deity of football, but after receiving a 15-month ban for cocaine use, he was relegated to the slummy league of common drug addicts. Despite being hated by many for his devastating ability and prodigious talent, respect for his footballing prowess was inherent in every fan the world over – until his test failure voided that respect. He served his ban and returned to football, but it was inauspicious. He failed an ephedrine doping test at the 1994 World Cup in the USA (which he clamed to be accidental), and played sporadically until 1997. In retirement, he battled weight and cocaine addiction, all whilst being under the intensive eye of the ever faithful Argentine public. Today, fans choose to remember his footballing skill over his controversial career, especially after learning how serious his problems were. But Maradona’s fall from grace should serve as the ultimate reason not to jeopardise boundless talent with thoughtless self-abuse.
DO: Stay on your feet.
It’s a simple but oh-so fundamental adage in sport: To finish first, first you must finish. Clearly, at the 2002 Winter Olympics at Salt Lake City, only Australia’s Steven Bradbury was listening. In the 1000m short-track skating event, Bradbury entered as a no-hoper, too old and slow to trouble the medals. But through fortune, and disqualifications, Bradbury found himself in the final. From the gun, he immediately deployed the trusty ‘tortoise’ tactic, cleverly falling behind, away from the jostling. Round and round they went, the super-serious American, Apolo Anton Ohno streaking away up front, Bradbury lurking several miles behind. Remaining upright (a skill in which Bradbury invested countless hours in training) proved to be a winning strategy on the last corner; everybody in the pack collapsed and went clamouring into the barriers. Bradbury, who smartly opted not to fall over, glided through for an easy gold medal. Australia’s first ever.
DON’T: Be like Shane Warne
To anybody possessing an appreciation of cricket, Shane Warne is a genius. But to those who couldn’t care less about the game, Warnie is anything but. Despite his uncanny ability with a cricket ball, his diverse controversies have considerably marred his professional reputation. In 1998, he, and fellow Australian representative Mark Waugh admitted to giving inside information to bookies. One year later, Warne made headlines again for racially slurring Sri Lankan captain, Arjuna Ranatunga. Off the field, Warne became infamous for his womanising, text messaging and general infidelity. His sexual exploits frequently adorned the tabloids, some stories real, most false, but all detrimental to the great leg spinner. His biggest controversy however, came in 2001, when he was banned for a year for taking a banned diuretic. Warne defended himself with the age-old: “my mum gave it to me” defence, but to no avail. Warne has been repeatedly hailed as one of the best bowlers to have ever played the game, but cricket is a gentleman’s sport and for all his other worldly talent, a gentleman he is not.
DO: Play by the rules, no matter what.
Many of us in Australia are unaware of baseball. We perceive it as the American version of cricket, except they throw the ball and brawl a lot. So, in the light of our ignorance of the Great American Pastime, the story of the 1919 White Sox (a Major League team) means nothing to us, but is sporting folklore in the US of A. It was a simple case of match fixing, but on a grand scale. The 1919 Chicago White Sox were favourites to win the World Series, but the mafia stepped in, presenting an offer that seven star players couldn’t refuse. They were to throw certain games for a cut of $100,000. One player, however, “Shoeless” Joe Jackson refused to play the mob’s game, and played his heart out, despite knowing his teammates were crooked. His attempts were futile however, as the “Black Sox”, (as they were came to be known) went down, as planned. Jackson was accused of being involved, and he confessed in an inquest in 1920. But he soon recanted his confession, and fiercely maintained his innocence right up until his death in 1951. Reasons as to why he confessed are unknown, but those who saw him at the World Series knew that he was a true sportsman trapped in a team of cheats.
And,
DON’T EVER, EVER: Give Up
There are countless tales of inspirational, gutsy performances of athletes. Like young American gymnast Kerrie Strung, who continued on despite tearing ligaments in her ankle, in order to help her team to a gold medal at the 1996 Olympics; or Lance Armstrong, who overcame life-threatening cancer to pedal his way to seven consecutive Tour de France titles. But it was the never-say-die attitude of Equatorial Guinea’s most prolific swimmer, Eric “the eel” Moussambani at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Holding a wildcard entry, Moussambani found himself in the 100m Olympic freestyle final, possessing eight months swimming experience, in a backyard-sized pool and never having completed a 100m race. Moussambani belly-flopped into the pool, unsure if he would even reach the other end, yet alone turn and come back again. Dutch star Pieter van den Hoogenband propelled himself to the gold medal with a world record time of 47.84 seconds, and had vacated the pool, dried off and left the complex before Moussambani had even reached half-distance. But the crowd loved him. Flailing and gasping, splashing and floundering, each arduous stroke was met with a roaring cheer until he eventually struggled to the wall with the modest time of 1 minute 52 seconds. Despite looking like he could drown at any moment, Moussambani refused to give up. His gutsy effort won admirers across the globe, and he was overwhelmed with attention the moment he dragged his weary body out of the pool. He didn’t lose hope either, as he continued to train right up until the 2004 Olympics, where he hoped to win a medal. Despite whittling down his personal best to a far improved 57 seconds, Eric the Eel never made it to Athens, and retired from competition, a winner in the hearts of many.
No wonder Tiger's smiling
Work’ as understood by Tiger Woods involves several rounds of golf, lesser beings would call this a ‘weekend’, but Tiger earns an absolute killing doing what many love. Okay, it’s not all leisurely rounds at the country club, Tiger spends countless hours perfecting his technique and nutting out the finer aspects of his game, but considering that Nike fill his pockets with more millions than you can poke a four-iron at, endorsements are a sports star’s dream.
DON'T: Let your dad manage you
Damir is escorted from a tournament in England, despite having a 'gold' card
DO: Display outrageous feats of courage
Lauda's scars are still clearly visible
DON’T: Start a fight with your own teammate
Bowyer (left) biffs Dyer (right)
Violence in sport is inevitable. Tempers boil over, words are exchanged and fists meets faces. This of course, is not encouraged, and coaches are at pains to dissuade their players to risk fines and bans for getting involved in a blue with their opponents. However, it goes without saying that fighting someone in your own team is forbidden, but somebody probably should have told British soccer stars, Lee Bowyer and Craig Bellamy. Bowyer’s notorious mug was splashed all over the tabloids after he inexplicably punched Newcastle teammate, Keiron Dyer whilst losing 3-0 to Aston Villa in 2005. Bowyer had previously been charged with assault for pub brawls, but his attack on Dyer came without warning. He was fined, banned and eventually fired from Newcastle. But his efforts pale in comparison to the work of Welsh badboy, Craig Bellamy. During his time at Newcastle in 2004, the captain of Wales reportedly lost his temper in the dressing room and threw a chair at the club’s assistant manager. He was soon turfed out of the club, but he still threatened former teammate, Alan Shearer via text message. Bellamy’s latest eruption happened only months ago, after hitting fellow Liverpool player John Arne Riise in the legs with a golf club. The reason? An argument about a karaoke competition.
DO: Possess a sharp wit
Ali towers over Sonny Liston
In boxing it is immeasurably important to stay light on your feet. Muhammed Ali proved that by winning a gold medal in the 1960 Olympics, and then repeatedly in professional bouts through the 1970’s. But Ali’s lightning footwork was matched with an equally quick wit, from which he showcased a poetic flair. During his career, Ali found it hard to stray from the limelight. The media simply fell in love with his sharply delivered verbal jabs, and the clever taunts that staggered his opponents long before the bell rang. Ali was a walking soundbite; whether he was dealing out philosophic musings, (“It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe”) or dishing out insults, (“Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head”), reporters lapped him up. Ali though was just doing it his way, as he said: “It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”
DON’T: Bite you opponent’s ear off
Hunger can strike anytime
While Ali would assault the ears of his opponents with a witty, sharply delivered rap, Mike Tyson decided to attack his rival’s ear with a little more ferocity. The now infamous Tyson – Holyfield fight of 1997 was the beginning of the end for the once mighty “Iron Mike.” Disgruntled at Holyfield’s repeated illegal headbutts, Tyson decided to retaliate in the 3rd round, by having a nibble on Evander Holyfield’s right ear. What, exactly, he hoped to gain by tearing off Holyfield’s earlobe remains a mystery, but the incident tipped his professional career into a landslide, where further blunders (such as threatening to eat Lennox Lewis’s children, repeated drugs charges and filing for bankruptcy) relegated the former heavyweight champ into the annals of sporting ‘don’ts”.
DO: Step up when needed
Waugh acknowledges his standing ovation
Elite athletes are under intense scrutiny from their managers, coaches and most saliently, the media. Poor performances will lead to questions and could mean the end of an athlete’s time at the top level. A lot of pressure is especially placed upon captains, and Australian cricket hero, Steve Waugh certainly felt that pressure in 2003. After a run of poor form, Waugh came into the final match of the 2003 Ashes series in Sydney with the press questioning his captaincy. With his career riding on his performance, Waugh, and the rest of Australia knew that he had to step up and deliver a performance that would justify his place in the national team. And deliver he did. ‘Tugger’ led the Aussies to victory against England with a true captain’s knock. With only 1 ball left of play, and 3 runs needed for a century, Waugh caressed a textbook cover drive through the gap and into the fence, saving his test career and reserving a spot in cricketing history with one of the classiest knocks ever.
DON’T: Misunderstand what “White line fever” really means
Maradona at his peak
With one fell sniff; the footballing legend that was Diego Maradona came crashing down. His failure of a routine drug test in 1991 for cocaine saw his stature plummet from meteoric highs. After leading Argentina to the 1984 World Cup he was considered a deity of football, but after receiving a 15-month ban for cocaine use, he was relegated to the slummy league of common drug addicts. Despite being hated by many for his devastating ability and prodigious talent, respect for his footballing prowess was inherent in every fan the world over – until his test failure voided that respect. He served his ban and returned to football, but it was inauspicious. He failed an ephedrine doping test at the 1994 World Cup in the USA (which he clamed to be accidental), and played sporadically until 1997. In retirement, he battled weight and cocaine addiction, all whilst being under the intensive eye of the ever faithful Argentine public. Today, fans choose to remember his footballing skill over his controversial career, especially after learning how serious his problems were. But Maradona’s fall from grace should serve as the ultimate reason not to jeopardise boundless talent with thoughtless self-abuse.
DO: Stay on your feet.
Bradbury slides through for gold
It’s a simple but oh-so fundamental adage in sport: To finish first, first you must finish. Clearly, at the 2002 Winter Olympics at Salt Lake City, only Australia’s Steven Bradbury was listening. In the 1000m short-track skating event, Bradbury entered as a no-hoper, too old and slow to trouble the medals. But through fortune, and disqualifications, Bradbury found himself in the final. From the gun, he immediately deployed the trusty ‘tortoise’ tactic, cleverly falling behind, away from the jostling. Round and round they went, the super-serious American, Apolo Anton Ohno streaking away up front, Bradbury lurking several miles behind. Remaining upright (a skill in which Bradbury invested countless hours in training) proved to be a winning strategy on the last corner; everybody in the pack collapsed and went clamouring into the barriers. Bradbury, who smartly opted not to fall over, glided through for an easy gold medal. Australia’s first ever.
DON’T: Be like Shane Warne
Warne faces the music
To anybody possessing an appreciation of cricket, Shane Warne is a genius. But to those who couldn’t care less about the game, Warnie is anything but. Despite his uncanny ability with a cricket ball, his diverse controversies have considerably marred his professional reputation. In 1998, he, and fellow Australian representative Mark Waugh admitted to giving inside information to bookies. One year later, Warne made headlines again for racially slurring Sri Lankan captain, Arjuna Ranatunga. Off the field, Warne became infamous for his womanising, text messaging and general infidelity. His sexual exploits frequently adorned the tabloids, some stories real, most false, but all detrimental to the great leg spinner. His biggest controversy however, came in 2001, when he was banned for a year for taking a banned diuretic. Warne defended himself with the age-old: “my mum gave it to me” defence, but to no avail. Warne has been repeatedly hailed as one of the best bowlers to have ever played the game, but cricket is a gentleman’s sport and for all his other worldly talent, a gentleman he is not.
DO: Play by the rules, no matter what.
Spot the honest baseball player
Many of us in Australia are unaware of baseball. We perceive it as the American version of cricket, except they throw the ball and brawl a lot. So, in the light of our ignorance of the Great American Pastime, the story of the 1919 White Sox (a Major League team) means nothing to us, but is sporting folklore in the US of A. It was a simple case of match fixing, but on a grand scale. The 1919 Chicago White Sox were favourites to win the World Series, but the mafia stepped in, presenting an offer that seven star players couldn’t refuse. They were to throw certain games for a cut of $100,000. One player, however, “Shoeless” Joe Jackson refused to play the mob’s game, and played his heart out, despite knowing his teammates were crooked. His attempts were futile however, as the “Black Sox”, (as they were came to be known) went down, as planned. Jackson was accused of being involved, and he confessed in an inquest in 1920. But he soon recanted his confession, and fiercely maintained his innocence right up until his death in 1951. Reasons as to why he confessed are unknown, but those who saw him at the World Series knew that he was a true sportsman trapped in a team of cheats.
And,
DON’T EVER, EVER: Give Up
Eric 'the Eel' hard at work
There are countless tales of inspirational, gutsy performances of athletes. Like young American gymnast Kerrie Strung, who continued on despite tearing ligaments in her ankle, in order to help her team to a gold medal at the 1996 Olympics; or Lance Armstrong, who overcame life-threatening cancer to pedal his way to seven consecutive Tour de France titles. But it was the never-say-die attitude of Equatorial Guinea’s most prolific swimmer, Eric “the eel” Moussambani at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Holding a wildcard entry, Moussambani found himself in the 100m Olympic freestyle final, possessing eight months swimming experience, in a backyard-sized pool and never having completed a 100m race. Moussambani belly-flopped into the pool, unsure if he would even reach the other end, yet alone turn and come back again. Dutch star Pieter van den Hoogenband propelled himself to the gold medal with a world record time of 47.84 seconds, and had vacated the pool, dried off and left the complex before Moussambani had even reached half-distance. But the crowd loved him. Flailing and gasping, splashing and floundering, each arduous stroke was met with a roaring cheer until he eventually struggled to the wall with the modest time of 1 minute 52 seconds. Despite looking like he could drown at any moment, Moussambani refused to give up. His gutsy effort won admirers across the globe, and he was overwhelmed with attention the moment he dragged his weary body out of the pool. He didn’t lose hope either, as he continued to train right up until the 2004 Olympics, where he hoped to win a medal. Despite whittling down his personal best to a far improved 57 seconds, Eric the Eel never made it to Athens, and retired from competition, a winner in the hearts of many.
